I don't even know where to start..
Today was a horrible day. I've made a decision to let my daughter go. Hardest decision I've ever had to make and I am completely heartbroken and lost.
My daughter Alyssa, is 21 years old and a drug addict who also has contracted Hep C. She's been battling drug addiction ever since she was about 16. It started with her downing bottles of Delsym and a trip to the ER. Ever since then, it's been everything from Xanax to stealing my cans of Dust Off to Heroin. And everything else in between.
She's in a 6 month, long term rehab facility, on the other side of the state. This is the first time, out of so many I've lost count, that she's been somewhere away from home. Today is her first day there, coming from a court ordered detox facility, that I had petitioned the court to send her to.
This will be her 3rd, 6 month long term facility she's been in. She was kicked out of the others for not being serious enough. Although, she will make up every other excuse as to why she had to leave.
I am not going to sugar coat anything on here. This is for me, not her. She has a choice in this situation and I, on the other hand, do not and I'm pretty pissed about that right now. I am just along for the ride.
I'm not a good writer and I may say some things certain people won't like, but fuck it. This is me, how I feel and how I am going to attempt to get through this. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's really very simple.
So, I will be writing down my feelings.. feel free to follow along. If you don't have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.
Until tomorrow ..
I am so sorry! But writing it down is a good thing it's never good to bottle up too much as it get's be too be more than any one can handle.
ReplyDeleteI pray for Alyssa, for her to get through this, I pray for her as well as for you. As a parent of young ones I can't imagine how I would handle this if it were one of my own. I pray I never have to find out.
Stay strong Kimmie, Love you!
Very well said, Kimmie. You do whatever you need to do to get through this. I will always be here for you. I wish there were something I, or anyone could do to take your pain away. I look forward to the day when I can read your blog and all of this is just a distant memory. Alyssa is a beautiful young lady, and she is lucky to have you as her mother. Love you. xoxoxo
ReplyDelete<3 you guys. Dawn, I need to come over!! Soon :) Shawn, if you lived closer I'd be over there too!! I could always use a good road trip though .. How long would that take? lol
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